61 Comments
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Erica A. Wheadon's avatar

I don't open every substack that I'm subscribed to, but I open every one of yours. Thank you for this. I'm so grateful you're here. x

Abigail Thomas's avatar

Thank you very much.

Wendy Gedney's avatar

I did that, your words made me realize that’s exactly what I did when my husband died. It’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to me but I harnessed the grief and used it to push me into a new life.

Abigail Thomas's avatar

I'm so glad for you. And thank you.

Diane Reukauf's avatar

What a comforting message to read late at night, Abby. Thank you. I get frustrated that it is taking me so long to write my small pieces about grief. I like your image of a tornado picking up and dropping the material in my lap. Your insistence that we “make something” out of the material that falls to us feels just right—however long it takes.

Abigail Thomas's avatar

It really helps. Thank you.

Susan OBrien's avatar

Oh, WOW!!! I love the thought and worship the power and artistry of expression. Thank you.

Abigail Thomas's avatar

Thank you so much.

Judith Hannah Weiss's avatar

I love this piece.

Nancy Jainchill's avatar

Use all of it!

Abigail Thomas's avatar

Thank you, Nancy.

Eileen Vorbach Collins's avatar

I love this. And I’m trying to use all of it.

Abigail Thomas's avatar

It will get easier, I hope. Thank you.

✨ Prajna O'Hara ✨'s avatar

Imagine a tornado landing on your lap, use all of it

It is yours

Terrific dear Abby

Abigail Thomas's avatar

Thank you Prajna. So glad you liked it.

Amy Koss's avatar

So many shiny & twisted bits of things saved & waiting…

Abigail Thomas's avatar

and things from off the floor and in the sink and from the trees and everywhere. Thank you.

Marie Cloutier's avatar

yep, a little at a time. but it's never used up.

Linnesby's avatar

The tornado — amazing, wonderful image. Thank you.

Rachel Carruth's avatar

I often find smooth river rocks when hiking along the water near the trails by my house. Sometimes, it feels as if they're guiding me, showing me the way; their silent messages powerful and steady.

Kelly Thompson TNWWY's avatar

Love love love. You did it again. Oof.

Abigail Thomas's avatar

Thank you, thank you.

Ingeborg Weinmann White's avatar

I love this, Abby. Thank you for this wonderful, true reminder! Love you!

Abigail Thomas's avatar

Thank you, darling Ingeborg.

Georgia O'Brien Patrick's avatar

Grief goes from an awareness to an omnipresent consort when it's your grief. Thank you for expressing what all the grief advisors and articles missed--you don't move through it because it's here to stay. Instead, you have to do something with it. Great advice. Just own it and then use all of it.

Abigail Thomas's avatar

Yes, nohing too small to fit. Thank you.

Jane Mundy's avatar

Thanks Abby, good advice. When I finally wrote about my grief (son died) it became more manageable. Will always be there, but fading...

Abigail Thomas's avatar

That must be very hard. Thank you for sharing such a tragedy.