Abigail! Once again, you deliver! Haha, the curse of the comma!
I quit cigarettes when I turned 30. The night before, anxious with edgy energy (I smoked for 15 years and at the time ran a ridiculously busy restaurant — smoke breaks were my escape), I stood on a bar and karaoke to Madonna’s Like A Virgin, including the graphic dance. Lord, thankfully there were no cell phones videotaping then.
This was a great read. I loved it! Lucky for me I only smoked for a few days in 1958 when they were 25 cents a pack. I remember thinking how I wasn't gonna pay that much (ha ha) to do something I wasn't enjoying just to fit in with the girl gang. My Mother smoked like a chimney so I was subjected to lots of second-hand. smoke as a child. So far, my lungs are fine. I think I punctuate my days with chocolate, my main addiction.
I love you, Abigail. I love your unabashed candor, unapologetic cursing. We are so alike. I also love you for your brilliant writing style using vignettes. Imitation is the best form of flattery, and I learned from you how to write in vignettes that pack a punch. My second memoir garnered many awards thanks to my tutelage from you. Thank you. And please write another book.
Oh now I want to read your second memoir. What is it called? And scribner's just published Still Life At Eighty: the Next Interesting Thing, my fourth memoir. It's about being old, 83 now, and how much simpler life is than it was being young. I love being old.
Oh, I'm flattered. She Writes Press published SteppingStones: A Memoir of Addiction, Loss and Transformation in 2020. Sheila Bender has a writing business up here in Puget Sound, and she told me to read all your books to learn the style. I think it's the best of my 3 memoirs. They are listed, along with the awards, on my website: www.recoveryofthespirit.com And yay, of course I will get your new book!
Omg this might be my absolute favorite post of yours, at least in recent times. I just read it aloud to my boyfriend who no longer smokes but vapes, with very little pleasure, so I figured he’d appreciate your words. The part about punctuation is my favorite.
Thank you. The part about punctuation was the whole reason I wrote it, because it was the commas I missed, not just the smoke. Tell your boyfriend that vaping is probably worse for him than a nice clean America Spirit cigarette.. I don't trust businesses that jump in to fill a gap, especially when it's inhaled. He will pay no attention. So pleased you enjoyed this, thanks again.
This is precisely why I haven’t picked up vaping to replace smoking. Vaping is massively dangerous. And I know that it’s just a nicotine addiction that I have, or rather an addiction to the commas that nicotine places throughout my day.
I even tried the smokeless, tobacco, the nicotine, chewing gum, and it doesn’t work and here’s why… I smoke American spirit. I smoke the orange ones. And they have 0.2 mg of nicotine in them, and when you fire up the cigarette, it delivers only 0.1 mg.
However, the low smoke options now, the cigarettes, nicotine, chewing gum… They have 5 mg.
And that is way too much for my system. I tried one of those low burning electronic cigarettes and after about three drags, I started to feel sick.
It’s probably because of the chemicals in them, and that nicotine that my body is just not used to.
And I tried the gum in the Nicorette cigarettes… Same thing. Heart racing, felt anxious.
So I’m just gonna stick with my Americans spirits :-)
And whenever my body is ready to stop punctuating throughout the day, it will let me know, and I will just easily stop smoking.
Until then, I just figured it makes no sense to fret about it
I just discovered your Substack 15 minutes ago and I’m hooked, like the smoker I am at 54 years old. This essay describes exactly how I feel. How interesting it is to read your own thoughts written so eloquently by a stranger. I’m looking forward to reading through your archives as I have the time. I suspect it will be a good time! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
This was perfect. Just 45 min shy of my first 24 hours without a cigarette. Read this with my cup of coffee after waking up from a short nap (all 3 usually tied to smoking) and realizing that I am good :). Cheering you on without anymore nicotine stained fingertips.
Thank you, Wendy. I actually do feel better about which I have two minds, One is oh goody, I feel better. The other is oh goody, I don't feel better, might as well smoke again.
"I hate smokin' on me own. Everyone seems to have packed up these days. All afraid of getting cancer. Bloody cowards. - Would you like a drink? " Julie Walters said to Michael Cain, Educating Rita. She reminds me of you.
Well if you’re ever in Victoria on Vancouver Island, mi casa y su casa! In the meantime, much appreciated if you follow me - I’m new here and trying to build followers. Just lost 10k followers when I deleted X, formerly Twitter. haha.
You are a breath of fresh air 🤣😂 sorry couldn’t help myself 🤭 my husband is 59 and smoked since he was 13. I don’t nag or give him a hard time, he knows he will eventually have to stop. Like you his breathing is getting worse. He is a considerate smoker who doesn’t smoke in the house or blow smoke all over me. When people complain he will give them an extra strong puff 💨 of smoke their way. He recently said “the fucking government are making it harder to smoke but don’t complain about all the money they make from cigarettes 🚬 “ we live in Australia and you can’t smoke anywhere near buildings, parks, sidewalk etc - soon they will stop him from having a puff outside our house in the back yard. I read your piece to him and it gave him a good laugh, in which turned into a coughing fit 🤦♀️ he said he will give up at 83 if it works for you.
Thank you for a great article and laughter on a sunny Monday morning.
I love a woman who uses the f word - it’s one of my favourites and always packs a punch. You’re a delight, Abigail. Thank you for sharing your musings. ❤️
Thank you for your kinda cranky honesty about aging and my family and random acquaintances ready with reasons why I should live differently so I live longer (yikes!)…and die my own way. Maybe I won’t . Gonna be fucked either way.” also 83.
Love this Abigail! And I love the way you close it-so fierce, "Maybe I will light up and die my own way. Maybe I won’t. Gonna be fucked either way."
Thank you. This one took me a while, but the ending showed up just in time. Thank you again.
Abigail! Once again, you deliver! Haha, the curse of the comma!
I quit cigarettes when I turned 30. The night before, anxious with edgy energy (I smoked for 15 years and at the time ran a ridiculously busy restaurant — smoke breaks were my escape), I stood on a bar and karaoke to Madonna’s Like A Virgin, including the graphic dance. Lord, thankfully there were no cell phones videotaping then.
too bad.
Haha!
So funny. I never thought about that. I can't imagine the humiliation if there were cell phones back then. Praise the lord!
Haha, right?
This was a great read. I loved it! Lucky for me I only smoked for a few days in 1958 when they were 25 cents a pack. I remember thinking how I wasn't gonna pay that much (ha ha) to do something I wasn't enjoying just to fit in with the girl gang. My Mother smoked like a chimney so I was subjected to lots of second-hand. smoke as a child. So far, my lungs are fine. I think I punctuate my days with chocolate, my main addiction.
Christ, you were smart. I didn't have a gang. I was just determined to smoke. It was just too cool for school. (as se used to say way back when.)
I love you, Abigail. I love your unabashed candor, unapologetic cursing. We are so alike. I also love you for your brilliant writing style using vignettes. Imitation is the best form of flattery, and I learned from you how to write in vignettes that pack a punch. My second memoir garnered many awards thanks to my tutelage from you. Thank you. And please write another book.
Oh now I want to read your second memoir. What is it called? And scribner's just published Still Life At Eighty: the Next Interesting Thing, my fourth memoir. It's about being old, 83 now, and how much simpler life is than it was being young. I love being old.
Oh, I'm flattered. She Writes Press published SteppingStones: A Memoir of Addiction, Loss and Transformation in 2020. Sheila Bender has a writing business up here in Puget Sound, and she told me to read all your books to learn the style. I think it's the best of my 3 memoirs. They are listed, along with the awards, on my website: www.recoveryofthespirit.com And yay, of course I will get your new book!
just bought yourx!
Yep, fucked anyway.
might as well let loose.
Omg this might be my absolute favorite post of yours, at least in recent times. I just read it aloud to my boyfriend who no longer smokes but vapes, with very little pleasure, so I figured he’d appreciate your words. The part about punctuation is my favorite.
Thank you. The part about punctuation was the whole reason I wrote it, because it was the commas I missed, not just the smoke. Tell your boyfriend that vaping is probably worse for him than a nice clean America Spirit cigarette.. I don't trust businesses that jump in to fill a gap, especially when it's inhaled. He will pay no attention. So pleased you enjoyed this, thanks again.
This is precisely why I haven’t picked up vaping to replace smoking. Vaping is massively dangerous. And I know that it’s just a nicotine addiction that I have, or rather an addiction to the commas that nicotine places throughout my day.
I even tried the smokeless, tobacco, the nicotine, chewing gum, and it doesn’t work and here’s why… I smoke American spirit. I smoke the orange ones. And they have 0.2 mg of nicotine in them, and when you fire up the cigarette, it delivers only 0.1 mg.
However, the low smoke options now, the cigarettes, nicotine, chewing gum… They have 5 mg.
And that is way too much for my system. I tried one of those low burning electronic cigarettes and after about three drags, I started to feel sick.
It’s probably because of the chemicals in them, and that nicotine that my body is just not used to.
And I tried the gum in the Nicorette cigarettes… Same thing. Heart racing, felt anxious.
So I’m just gonna stick with my Americans spirits :-)
And whenever my body is ready to stop punctuating throughout the day, it will let me know, and I will just easily stop smoking.
Until then, I just figured it makes no sense to fret about it
Punctuated my day with laughter - thank you!
So glad you liked it, thank you, Debra.
I just discovered your Substack 15 minutes ago and I’m hooked, like the smoker I am at 54 years old. This essay describes exactly how I feel. How interesting it is to read your own thoughts written so eloquently by a stranger. I’m looking forward to reading through your archives as I have the time. I suspect it will be a good time! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
Thank you, what a lovely thing to say.
This was perfect. Just 45 min shy of my first 24 hours without a cigarette. Read this with my cup of coffee after waking up from a short nap (all 3 usually tied to smoking) and realizing that I am good :). Cheering you on without anymore nicotine stained fingertips.
Cheering you on, too! Thank you. Hooray for us!
Thnak you,I twas wat\y easier than I thought it would be So easy that ten days leter i quit smoking. sofar so giid,
Send me your matches and lighters if you’re not using them anymore, Abby— since Nov 6th I’ve been in the mood to burn shit down.
I'm planning the same thing.
I’ll pick you up. We’ll burn it all the fuck down.
You are such a tonic, Abigail, thank you.
As long as you keep punctuating your day with writing and the odd curse, I reckon you’ll be okay.
Hope you’re breathing more easily.
Thank you, Wendy. I actually do feel better about which I have two minds, One is oh goody, I feel better. The other is oh goody, I don't feel better, might as well smoke again.
lol
"I hate smokin' on me own. Everyone seems to have packed up these days. All afraid of getting cancer. Bloody cowards. - Would you like a drink? " Julie Walters said to Michael Cain, Educating Rita. She reminds me of you.
Well, my answer to that would be yes. No punctuation needed. Thank you. I love what you said..
I'll have a drink with you, and a smoke! I quit a few decades ago, and I turned into Godzilla. My staff begged me to start again. Cowards.
And I love everything you say!
Thank you. We'll have to make a plan!
Well if you’re ever in Victoria on Vancouver Island, mi casa y su casa! In the meantime, much appreciated if you follow me - I’m new here and trying to build followers. Just lost 10k followers when I deleted X, formerly Twitter. haha.
It’s a great movie. Have you seen it?
gonna watch it tomorrow! I've probably seen it, but my memory is full of holes getting bigger all the time.
Remember this story from the 80s? Must have been required reading. About last smokers on earth.
End of the Trail https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1984/09/17/end-of-the-trail
here is a confession. I cannot read The New Yorker.
You are a breath of fresh air 🤣😂 sorry couldn’t help myself 🤭 my husband is 59 and smoked since he was 13. I don’t nag or give him a hard time, he knows he will eventually have to stop. Like you his breathing is getting worse. He is a considerate smoker who doesn’t smoke in the house or blow smoke all over me. When people complain he will give them an extra strong puff 💨 of smoke their way. He recently said “the fucking government are making it harder to smoke but don’t complain about all the money they make from cigarettes 🚬 “ we live in Australia and you can’t smoke anywhere near buildings, parks, sidewalk etc - soon they will stop him from having a puff outside our house in the back yard. I read your piece to him and it gave him a good laugh, in which turned into a coughing fit 🤦♀️ he said he will give up at 83 if it works for you.
Thank you for a great article and laughter on a sunny Monday morning.
Love this
I. Ex. Ha. Le. (no commas, no question marks)
Okay. But there so many qyestion marks everywhere. Some of them are interesting, some of them are not. Thank you, Beth.
I love a woman who uses the f word - it’s one of my favourites and always packs a punch. You’re a delight, Abigail. Thank you for sharing your musings. ❤️
thank you very much. It's one of my favorites too.
Thank you for your kinda cranky honesty about aging and my family and random acquaintances ready with reasons why I should live differently so I live longer (yikes!)…and die my own way. Maybe I won’t . Gonna be fucked either way.” also 83.
🤔