41 Comments
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Nan Tepper's avatar

I love this, Abby. Do I start every comment that way? Why yes, I believe I do. So, one of the amazing benefits of reading you, is that it reminds me to pay attention more. To give weight to my ruminations, and offer my thanks and appreciate the laughter that usually follows when I'm conscious of them. I sometimes forget to capture and write about what entertains me about me! And when I read you, it's a nudge to keep track of my thoughts, without getting mired in them. I love your face, your smile, you. No need to change a thing. Braces on my teeth as a kid were probably an enormous waste of time and money. My bottom fronts are a crooked mess. I stopped caring about it a long time ago. I'm just grateful I have teeth! xoxo

Abigail Thomas's avatar

me too. teeth, a whole bunch of teeth. thank you for reminding me.

Thank you, Nan. I think you're doing very well with no help from me.

Nan Tepper's avatar

Thank you, Abby! And I beg to differ. I can always do better, and I love learning from all of my writing heroes!

Kim Livingston's avatar

It’s a shame that so many kids get braces these days. The uniformity of perfect teeth is boring.

Nina Shengold's avatar

Don't you dare mess with that world-warming smile! My grin is utterly lopsided—my top right teeth are longer than my left, and despite braces and a much-loathed retainer in junior high, the whole megilla leans left (so do I, so that works). My bottom teeth look like the New York skyline. But that's how I smile, and I'm not going to quit. Crooked teeth rock. Save the snaggletooth!

Abigail Thomas's avatar

Nina, you have a beautiful everything.

And I love your smile.

I'll stop obsessing if you will.. And you're probably not even obsessing.

Charlotte Hamrick's avatar

I watch a lot of British TV & often think how cool it is that they accept their crooked, less than startlingly white teeth. Your thoughts made me chuckle, though. Snowplow indeed!

Abigail Thomas's avatar

My friend Cork Smith said the English had teeth like a mouthful of shrapnel.

I love crooked teeth too. Just not nuts about my own.

Abigail Thomas's avatar

He was a very funny man.

Judith Hannah Weiss's avatar

Another perfect piece. Of course.

Abigail Thomas's avatar

Thank you, Judy. So pleased you liked it.

mary g.'s avatar

Yes, some days are like that. I look at one particular part of my face and it seems as big as a house. and I wonder what I should do about it and it takes over my morning entirely. And then, later, I've forgotten it completely. I think I would probably love your snaggletooth. My husband has one and it's the first thing that made me fall in love with him.

Abigail Thomas's avatar

I love that your husband's crooked tooth was what made you fall in love with him.

Abigail Thomas's avatar

and I bet anything there's nothing too big about your face.

mary g.'s avatar

It's a perfectly nice face. Yes! Thank you. xoox

Bar Scott's avatar

Classic Abby. Love it.

Kate Mapother's avatar

I adore you Abby ❤️

Abigail Thomas's avatar

Thank you. Lucky me!

Margo Griffin's avatar

It's endearing, Abby!

I often have those same thoughts about the slight overbite and space between my front teeth. I barely smiled through my teens because of it! At fifty I said, "fu$& it!" and full embraced it. Lol

Abigail Thomas's avatar

space between your front teeth is good luck. and darling.

Margo Griffin's avatar

😘 I will be looking forward to some of that luck coming my way. I've been waiting a long while...😁

Abigail Thomas's avatar

Then it should be coming soon.

Justice Ellis Eyo's avatar

Abby, you make me chuckle.

Who writes about a tooth like this? You. 👏

Holly Starley's avatar

Crooked front tooth here! Get it! 😁🦷

Abigail Thomas's avatar

Really? Oh I would love to see you smile.

Holly Starley's avatar

Check your DMs.

Ha! That almost sounds creepy. One day, Substack will allow us to post photos in comments.

Rick Ackermann's avatar

“ My friend Cork Smith said the English had teeth like a mouthful of shrapnel.”

Not going to forget that. Like your mom’s embroidered pillow, (I think) “ Home is where you hang yourself.” Cracked me up.

Abigail Thomas's avatar

he was a very funny man. He was the one who first introduced me to the saying, :”Leave it lay where Jesus flung it.”

Rick Ackermann's avatar

I know that tooth. When I think of you, often, especially since you brought it up, it still leads. I also love its ability to function as a snowplow. And you are a camera.

Abigail Thomas's avatar

That is nice of you to say. You need to be writing again, Rick.

✨ Prajna O'Hara ✨'s avatar

Oh my teeth 🦷 that’s a crooked topic.

I want the snowplow days.

story:

I recently signed up for online dating (just before I met you)

I lasted a weekend and threw in the towel-awkward on every level.

I made a video about the whole process

I was joking around a bit

Most viewers got my humor

One dude left a comment

“You had money to travel but you didn’t fix your teeth”

What balls!

I deleted the comment and find myself only zooming in on my teeth

I never cared enough to change anything

I say F perfect teeth and the people who think you need them

As you know little Abby lost a tooth and a half right in the front.

It’s been several years, she’s still afraid of the dentist.

Imagine being a dentist?

I’ll stop now

Hugs

😁

Abigail Thomas's avatar

I hate the dentist almost as much as I now hate that man. Fuck this shit.

✨ Prajna O'Hara ✨'s avatar

You are so good. Exactly. A perfect stranger just waiting for someone to cut off his gizzards.

Love you.