56 Comments

Just about the time I thought I was famous, I start a Substack and discover so few ever met me. Thank you for writing on Substack so I could discover your writing and humor. You are the same age as my sisters and we still think each other is hilarious and nobody "gets it" but us. And that's okay because we don't seek approval from anyone and depend on each other for endless entertainment and conversations about every intellectually stimulating topic imaginable. Your books, for example, stir our conversations and appreciation for every day we have with each other.

Expand full comment

I love that you and your sisters are hilarious and nobody else gets it but you. That's called family, and perfectly shared intimacy, and how satisfying to have the same sense of humor and no doubt, the absurd.. Hooray for you,. And thank you for your kind words.I'm honored!

Expand full comment

I snortled. You’re funny! And I empathize. Could be a floater in your vision? Either way, playing with perception is fun, and if it’s due to momentary disorientation, may as well make the best of it. I came here to say there’s an 8”x11” printout of the Mona Lisa taped to my bedroom ceiling, above my bed. It’s a remnant of my daughters’ April Fool’s prank, which was to tape Mona Lisas all over the house. 😂 They’re home schooled, not sure if that’s relevant. Anyway, we’re going on 7 months and I’ve no intention of taking it down. The thing is, a visitor noticed it and asked if it was some kinda Victorian kink. Uh… no.

Expand full comment

I can't for the life of me see the ona Lisa inspiring any kind of kink! what a funny question. But I love the story, thank you!

Expand full comment

that's MONA not ona

Expand full comment

Apologies in advance for being practical in response to your artistic and poetic. Sounds like macular degeneration or floaters to me.

Expand full comment

Thank you but no, it's just that one little black spot on my ceiling. Nothing else. But I apppreciate your suggestion. Thank you.

Expand full comment

My 97 year-old mother-in-law over in New Hampshire has something to say about not remembering things. ¨It must not have been important.¨

Expand full comment

I'm with her. Thank you.

Expand full comment

I'll see your one, and raise you two.

Expand full comment

What? what? what? Do you see two spots crawling around above your head?

Expand full comment

I wasn’t going to ever say anything until you did. It’s all your fault.

Expand full comment

I am laughing again. You have to be more specific!

Expand full comment

Spots and I will be in touch.

Expand full comment

This reminds me of Woolf’s short story / essay ‘The Mark On The Wall’ (it’s good)

Expand full comment

Thank you for that enormous compliment.

Expand full comment

i don't do compliments - ask anyone - I only write what i mean xx

Expand full comment

more raymond carver I felt - with a shake and a twist of mansfield

Expand full comment

Thank you, wow.

Expand full comment

and you too - make me feel good x

Expand full comment

I get deeply engaged by everything you write - all respect Abigail Thomas - and thank you - your words make me feel a bit better about my me - a tricky me at times xx

Expand full comment

That makes me feel good, thank you.

Expand full comment

I died. hahahaha. Oh my god. This is damned hilarious. (looks for my own spot) HEY now I want a spot too. You know it reminds me of the Soot Sprites in Miyazaki's film Spirited Away. Have you seen it? If not I'm pretty sure you need to.

Expand full comment

I LOVE Spirited Away, yes. Seen it a couple of times. Thank you for reminding me it's time to watch it again.

Expand full comment

When our power was out during hurricane Helene my daughter said "Ma guess what? I still have a DVD" (a what?) of Spirited Away. It was our favorite movie. So we watched it on her laptop with the lights out. I always find some new delight when I watch his movies.

Expand full comment

Useless? Not true. We’re here, and though we can’t explain why, we’re feeling vindicated and seen. Little black spots have purposes so ubiquitous and necessary that words and thoughts can’t contain them or even remain…

Expand full comment

Delightful read. Made me giggle. 🤭

Expand full comment

Oh good! Thank you.

Expand full comment

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Don’t let it go nowhere

I want to see the superpower

Laughed my ass off, reading this

Thank you so much

You’re the best !!!!

Expand full comment

I'll try to hang on to it, yes. But I'm off the gummies and maybe it's a superpower that will stick around.

Expand full comment

Yes, "the gummie side door" yummie...

Expand full comment

just - on the mark.

Expand full comment

Get set, GO!

Expand full comment

My son took me to a fancy pot shop in San Francisco and had an interesting discussion with the helper behind the counter. (Helper's dialogue was mostly phrases like "Yeah, man" and " This here's some mellow shit." They were discussing which of the many flavors of gummy would best suit an old lady. I finally had to say, "Listen boys, you didn't invent this stuff and this ain't my first rodeo." Turns out it was, actually. That gummy threw me right off my high horse. Nibble. Don't bite.

Expand full comment

I love you for saying that to the guy. But I'm sorry about the high horse.

Expand full comment

I’m in the floater camp. I see them when I’m reading a book and they wonder from the top of the page to the bottom. I do think our eyes see what the brain encourages us to see, and sometimes our brain is just plain wrong.

Expand full comment

Maybe it means something. Who knows. Black hole. Ultimate reality. I like my room pitch black when I sleep. Black out shades. Curtains over the black out shades. Duct tape over the little lights on the air purifier and the power strip and the mini split AC/heater. It’s an adventure if I have to get up and pee. The door. It’s there somewhere. I’m like a pilot disoriented before the crash. Where is up? Where is down? Why don’t I know where is what. It’s amazing, really. All I want is to get to the bathroom and it’s a big adventure. Follow the black spot. It’s an adventure.

Expand full comment

At 82, my memory is a lot like yours. I have likened it to a Library in my brain that is overfilled with books I no longer read, and that works for when I can't remember all those ancient things hubby remembers that I don't. I have made that A-OK and don't get upset. For current events, like forgetting where I left something, I've developed a strategy that usually works (note the word "usually"). When I forget where I left something I need, I physically move myself back to the original spot where I had the thought I wanted to go get/find it. For example, say I'm in the bedroom and I want to go find my phone, so I set off like an explorer and part way there, I forget what I am searching for. I simply go back to the starting point where I first had the thought, and 9 times out of 10, I remember what I wanted to find and I do. I usually (there's that word again) keep my sense of humor about it and that helps, a lot. I just forgot what I wanted to say next, so this is The End.

I must add my 2 cents about the Cannabis as I am a Healer Certified Medical Cannabis Wellness Advisor. People new to using Cannabis edibles need to begin with a very low dose, 1-2.5 mg and work up until they get the desired effect. Starting with too high a dose can result in some of the symptoms you described. I've been using it for sleep for 10 years and only have to use 10 mg. to help me fall asleep. You can message me if you have any questions. I am happy to help!

Expand full comment

I used that strategy for years. Go back, siit down on the sofa where you got the idea, retrace your steps, realiize in the hall, Oh Cheetos! But it doesn't always work these days. (And it was never Cheetos. I just like the ridiculous word.)

Thank you. And thank you for offering help. I think it will be a while before I feel like gummies or powders again. But if I do, I will remember you.

Expand full comment

I prefer CHOCOLATE! Gummies are too sweet for me. But Chocolate - never!

Expand full comment

and then you can sleep after your sugar crash.

Expand full comment

I think I need some gummies.

Expand full comment

Hahahahaha! Tidy up your ceiling. Or maybe draw yourself a spot to watch.

Expand full comment

There is nothing on my ceiling — I just wouldn’t mind trippin’ while I wrestle with my menopause brain 🤣🤣🤣

Expand full comment

I don't like tripping, unless itis focused on my little black spot. I tried very hard to get the ceiling fan to move, and once it moved a tiny bit, but I never thought of it as tripping, I thought of it as a superpower, which I guess might be called tripping.

Expand full comment

LOL! Got it. I’ve never been high before — unless you count anesthesia, the one time I got plastered at 16 and the time I had a mimosa (I felt un-human) — ok so maybe I don’t want that 🤣🤣🤣

Expand full comment