120 Comments
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Susan Schoch's avatar

You make me feel glad to be at this stage, Abigail. Still full of humor and ideas. So glad you ate the candy!

I wonder if you ever look at Facebook or Instagram. There’s a woman there named Melani Sanders who has started a movement called the “We Do Not Care Club.” It’s all about letting go of the foolish shoulds that women are burdened with. It’s sometimes LOL funny, sometimes poignant. Generally I just appreciate seeing all the rules that we can let go of. You inspire me in that same way. It’s liberating to let go. ❤️

Abigail Thomas's avatar

That's a huge compliment, especially if it's the same woman I've seen. She's black, and deadpan funny. I love her. But even if it isn't who I'm thinking of, what a terrific idea! And what a lovely compliment, Thank you very much. I'm looking it up tonight!

Susan Schoch's avatar

Yes, she’s black and deadpan, and I’m glad you like her as much as I do, Abigail. Her physical comedy with stacks of eyeglasses and a checklist is, to me, just the right amount of silly. And the international appreciation for her idea is satisfying.

my wild magic life's avatar

Yes! She is a hoot, and spot on! She make dull night working the last shift at the library not.

Susan Ritz's avatar

We Don’t Care Club is one of the only things that makes me laugh these days. Plus she’s always right on the money.

CAROLYN DICKEY's avatar

I will look that up, just finished reading a lovely book "The book club for troublesome women" by Marie Bostwick, her characters would love Abby.

Amy Koss's avatar

You’re the Lorax of old ladies! You speak for us! ❤️ Thank you!

Abigail Thomas's avatar

Well, that's awfully nice of you to say! Such a great book! Thank you

Kate Mapother's avatar

No one nails a last line like you Abby. I’m so grateful for you you have no idea ❤️

Abigail Thomas's avatar

thank you. Kate. I'm glad you liked it as much as I did when it came to me! And I feel the same way about you.

GINNY ROWAN's avatar

Great point

Leonard Vanderpot's avatar

Agree. Abbie snaps it closed —with laughter this time. (Also swooned at her saying she had her day…not many writers can write a wink.)

Abigail Thomas's avatar

It wasn't just candy.

Kate Mapother's avatar

She’s being modest. I’ve seen the pictures. She had Her. DAY 🔥

Lisa Sinrod's avatar

I liked that line a lot too. It speaks to me, as I "had my day" also and do not regret my time around the block a single bit! :-)

Abigail Thomas's avatar

Me neither. And thank you.

Nan Tepper's avatar

You're the best. In order to clarify, because I've seen pictures, you were a knockout, and in my mind, you still are. The next time I see you, I'll make sure to check out your ankles. Gratitude lists are great. I list 10 things I'm grateful for every night before I go to bed. I'm putting you on that list, tonight. It won't be the first time, to be sure. xo

Beth Kephart's avatar

Jeez Louise Louise Louise. Is that just something I say? Well, I say it to you. This one is fab. I am looking not pretty at all these days. I'm gonna think of candy wrappers, and the candy I ate.

Abigail Thomas's avatar

Thank you, Beth. But you are a lovely looking woman. So stop that. And buy yourself some fresh candy tomorrow and eat that. Love to you.

Rebecca D. Martin's avatar

This is so life giving. I’m still close enough to youth that vanity catches at my heels. On good days, I kick him off (of course vanity is male). Your words bring hope that vanity’ll be fully in the rear view one day—hopefully soon. There are too many other things that matter.

Abigail Thomas's avatar

If aging has anything to do with it, and I think it does, time will take care of that when you're ready Thank you for your thoughtful comment, I appreciate it.

Mojgan Jelveh's avatar

The last line is the best life goal I’ve ever heard…

Abigail Thomas's avatar

Oh thank you, that makes me very happy!

Michal Nortness's avatar

Only thing I can say is Me too! I'm only a decade behind you, and I totally get it. Some days I think, "I should put some lipstick on or some thing." And then I think, screw it, I'm comfortable, and there might be another little piece of candy in my future. Thanks, as always.

Abigail Thomas's avatar

There certainly must be another little piece of candy, just waitng for you, a whole basketfull, no doubt. And thank you.

Jaime Glasser DVM MS's avatar

Happy Almost BDay Abby! I LOVE the WRAP-up (sorry!). I have also eaten a lot of candy and at 67 hope I get to eat more. I am grateful I recognize I have stopped giving a shit about wearing pajamas that may pass for pants out, not looking in the mirror, and being proud. Of anything! Enjoy your birthday and the freedom to be yourself no looking back! ❤️🙏🏽AND always writing, like this, straight from all those wrappers! 👏🏽🎉🥳🩷

Abigail Thomas's avatar

Thank you, and good for you, wearing those pajamaa out in the big world!

Donna Otter's avatar

Is that your epitaph (Waaaay down the line)- "She Ate All the Candy." Somehow you did it while still leaving plenty for us. In fact, you feed us as you eat it. Magic. When my daughter was 8 or so I saw her throw a candy wrapper out the window. I was shocked and asked if I just saw what I thought I saw. A child impossible to chastise, she replied, "The sign said 'Fine for Littering.'"

Abigail Thomas's avatar

It is now. Must make a note to that effect.

Susan K's avatar

How do we do a substack birthday party for you? Should we pick a time and all get on Abigail’s substack and gorge on candy?

Lisa Sinrod's avatar

Love that idea!!

Abigail Thomas's avatar

You are so sweet, thank you.

Taru Fisher's avatar

I turned 83 on Thursday, Abby, and I love your post as I, too am letting go of things that are meaningless. Happy 84th to come❣️👩‍❤️‍👩

Abigail Thomas's avatar

It feels good, doesn't it? Freeing up! Thank you, Taru.

Jan Elisabeth's avatar

I love that you ate all the candy. I love not caring about looks. And what a way to write a gratitude list -- truly joyful and every bit of it rings so true.

Abigail Thomas's avatar

Thank you very much, really. Thank you!!

Marilea C. Rabasa's avatar

You ended wth a zinger, and a good one. "My ankles are now my best feature. I am proud of them." I remember you mentioning your good ankles in one of your books. Lucky lady, a really nice thing to have.

Taking stock is something all of us old ladies do now—but continually. I bet I'll see another one here on your 85th birthday.

I'm ashamed to say I'm still wedded to makeup. But I look forward to letting my vanity go. What a trap, what a prison. Yes, Abby, you inspire me to not give a shit how I look. And I've seen you young (39) and old (now), and you are just gorgeous to me. Youth is so totally wasted on the young.

Abigail Thomas's avatar

Thank you! If I make it to 85, yeah. I'll get me a new tattoo. God knows what it will be.

But youth isn't entirely wasted on the young. I can recall enjoying more than candy. It gives me a larder to plunder for writing. We all need a full larder. Thank you for saying what you said.

Linda S Clare's avatar

I'm approaching the place where I'm not checking the mirror as much. But when I do, it's mostly for stuff like spinach in my teeth or how horse-like those teeth have become, all size and no grace. I guess I'd pick quality if I could, but like my freaking earlobes, my tooths, just keep on getting longer. I am grateful for the chewing part, but if it's true that your nose and your feet never stop growing, how did my earlobes and choppers find out and join in? Also grateful to still smile in spite of the current occupant and his minions. And you, dear Abigail, always make me smile. Thank you. Sending love and birthday wishes, Linda Clare at The Deep End Substack

Abigail Thomas's avatar

Thank you, I love that you smile.

Gail Garvey's avatar

I was just at the doctor and at 75 yrs I seem to have shrunk another inch from 5’8”in my youth→5’7” a few years ago→5’6” today. My feet have stayed the same but I only wear sensible shoes with roomy toe boxes now, if I wore heels or pointy toes I probably would need a larger size!

Abigail Thomas's avatar

But heels! No thank you! Comfy shoes rule. Thank you for your response!

Linda S Clare's avatar

My poor mother RIP, wore awful spike heels her entire working life and by the end, her feet were as crippled as a Geisha's. No heels for me, thank you.

Linda S Clare's avatar

Good news! Take it wherever you can--I shouldn't have worn such heavy earrings, thus droopy earlobes are my fate. I too shrunk an inch--down to only 5'2".

Abigail Thomas's avatar

You can always grow your hair to cover your poor earlobes.

Linda S Clare's avatar

My earlobes are insulted that they need covering! LOL--at least they've taken responsibility for their saggy ways--they pinch when I insert the earrings into that tiny pierced hole. Could this be a matter for the poor dimming eyesight? Smiling now.

Gretchen Cherington's avatar

With you on not caring as much, going days with the same clothes on. So much doesn’t matter. Which leaves more room for what does.